Diocesan newsletter
September 2011
Bishop Michael J. Sheridan recently published a three- part catechesis on the sacrament of marriage in The Colorado Catholic Herald. Click here to read them.
Following are two excerpts from the series :
“Marriage is among the greatest blessings and gifts of God. Marriage in Christ, i.e., sacramental marriage, is an even greater blessing because it bestows the grace of Christ on the married couple.”
“Pray for married couples. Pray for those entering marriage. Support them with your love and friendship. Encourage them to live their marital commitment in love and fidelity and openness to the gift of children.”
All of us involved in marriage ministry have the same goal: to provide the best possible preparation so that engaged couples can enter into “the free celebration of an authentic marriage.” (Address to the Tribunal of the Roman Rota, Pope Benedict XVI, January 22nd.)
If you have questions or suggestions for our next newsletters, please contact us.
1 - Assessment:
Here is a very easy way to assess how your parish is performing in Preparing Couples for Sacramental Marriage. Please follow this link to the Assessment Form.
2 - Engaged Couples Parish Based Retreat.
The retreat is not mandatory in the Diocese of Colorado Springs’ Marriage Preparation requirements. It is strongly recommended and it is up to each Pastor to use his pastoral discretion in that matter.
Apart from existing diocesan retreats, like Engaged Encounter (http://www.engagedencounter.org/), Heart of God Retreat, (Fr. Tim Corbley, 719 328 1640, heartofgod@eartyhlink.net) there is a need for parish based retreats.
The obvious first goals of an engaged couples retreat is to feed them spiritually and give them the means to start a spiritual path together.
There is more:
These couples are the future of the Parish, of the Church and of Society.
The engaged couples getting married in the Catholic Church don’t always belong to a parish and may not even be practicing Catholics. A parish based retreat will give them a chance to:
- Meet the Clergy and other couples:
During a parish based retreat these engaged couples will have a chance to meet with their priests and deacons, the Catechist of their future children; they will also have a chance to socialize with the other couples they will likely meet at Church.
- Understand the importance of belonging to the Parish and the Church:
It is a great opportunity for the parish to show these couples that the Catholic Church is a welcoming good mother; make them hear about the importance and benefits of practicing the Sacraments.
They can have a glimpse at what the Church can offer to them and their future families and what they could bring to the Parish.
The parish-based retreat is a way for the parish to recruit new blood.
Template for a Parish Based Retreat:
Possible schedule for a one day retreat (Saturday)
- One or two teachings about the Sacrament of reconciliation and the Mass.
For example, give a teaching about the Sacrament of Reconciliation and offer them to receive this vital Sacrament.
- Take a long lunch break allowing them to meet the Clergy, some parish staff and the other couples. (It could be as simple as a brown bag lunch.)
- Meet with parish married couples, Catechists; discuss raising children in the Catholic Faith.
- Offer them to end with an “Explained Mass”.
They commit to go to Sunday Mass, but they may not fully understand the deep meaning of the Mass.
If they have a better, more spiritual understanding of the Mass it will make it more attractive to them, and motivate them to attend regularly.
3 - Marriage Prep Step by Step:
Before anything else, engaged couples need to first meet with their Pastor or Deacon. During this essential visit couples will understand the importance of the different steps. What is the next step? (More…)
From our experience and the feedback we get from engaged couples, the best would be for the engaged couples to start their preparation with the Catholic Marriage Prep course, that includes the spiritual and sacramental formation.
It will prepare them to understand better why they have to take the full NFP training.
It will also give them the opportunity to discuss many topics they hadn’t talked about and they will know each other better. That will prepare them for the FOCCUS. The meetings with their mentor couple will be much more beneficial and should avoid repetitions.
They can take the NFP or the FOCCUS as their following step or simultaneously.
We believe the retreat should conclude the whole marriage preparation process.
4 - NFP:
When the bride-to-be is under hormonal contraception she doesn’t have natural cycles. How long does she need to wait until she is back to her natural cycles? The answer is: in most cases three months. (More…)
A study from the Heinrich Heine University in Dusseldorf, Germany, found out that: Cycles disturbances after discontinuing OCs (Oral Contraceptive) were reversible but the time of regeneration took up to 9 months (significant) or even longer (non-significant).
Cycle disturbances after discontinuation of OCs are reversible, but the time of regeneration of the hypothalamic-pituitary-ovarian axis takes up to 9 months (significant) or even longer (not significant). Major cycle disturbances (cycles length > 35 days or luteal phase of less than 10 days of elevated temperature or monophasic cycles) must be expected up to the seventh cycle. However, 57.9% of all first cycles after discontinuation of OCs are ovulatory with sufficient luteal phases. Of all first cycles, 10.24% are clearly monophasic. The rate of post-pill amenorrhea is 1.71%. These results will help to counsel couples who wish to conceive after discontinuing OCs or who want to continue avoiding pregnancy with alternative methods.
What does that mean?
It means that just over 50% of brides-to-be will return to their natural cycles within one month when they get off OC’s or HC’s.
For the other 50%, if they start charting, they won’t chart their natural cycles and it won’t give them the information they need to be able to practice NFP.
What do we do?
It is important to tell them about the effects of HC’s on their bodies.
Here are two approaches taken by two different dioceses:
1 - Cindy Leonard, director NFP, diocese of Phoenix says the following:
“All couples have to chart regardless if they are on hormones or not. We let them know that it is best to be off hormones, but that is what the church is proposing, not imposing. By charting they will come to see how easy the method is, and they will also see how the hormones they are taking are impacting the signs of fertility that they have. We have had a lot of success in asking all couples to chart and to come to follow ups, even if they are on the pill! Many have looked at their charts and wondered why they are not like the charts in the book and then you can explain (again) how the pill impacts their fertility, and let them know that when they get off the pill, their cycles will hopefully and eventually get back to what is normal for them. They may also see a break- through ovulation, this way in their charts which is another opportunity to let them know about the abortifacient potential of the pill. It is up to each person to make their own choices. We are just here to offer the best choice in the most clear and attractive way possible.”
2 - Here is what you can find on the Fargo Diocese website regarding the same question:
Entire F&Q at: http://www.fargodiocese.org/respectlife/PDFs/nfpfaqSept2008.pdf
Pastoral Concerns:
For the sake of the following discussion regarding the use of hormonal
drugs, we will refer to both combined oral contraceptives (COC) and
progesterone-only pills (POP) as the “birth control pill”(BCP).
How long after stopping use of the birth control pill is the woman able to start
class and use a method effectively?
Since this is a technical medical question, it would be a mistake for clergy to counsel
couples on this specific consequence of the BCP. It is appropriate, however, to say that
the use of the BCP interferes with the body in such a way that it can have long term
effects on a woman's gynecological health. For more specific information, couples
should seek the advice of a qualified medical practitioner who is committed to Church
teaching. All couples who are preparing for marriage will realize some benefit from
learning NFP. The use of the BCP, therefore, should not be a hindrance in beginning
NFP instruction.
Is it policy to require couples to stop using the birth control pill, and what is the
pastoral responsibility/response to these couples?
The pastoral responsibility is to always teach the truth: namely, that the use of
contraception is immoral. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #2366-2371. See question
13 regarding the use of the birth control pill for medical conditions.) It is important to
distinguish between questions of morality and questions of policy. The new policy,
strictly speaking, is that couples be trained in an NFP before getting married. A close
reading of paragraph #68 in Familiaris consortio gives prudent counsel in this matter.
"In fact, the faith of the person asking the Church for marriage can exist in
different degrees, and it is the primary duty of pastors to bring about a rediscovery
of this faith and to nourish it and bring it to maturity. But pastors must also
understand the reasons that lead the Church also to admit to the celebration of
marriage those who are imperfectly disposed"
"...the decision of a man and a woman to marry in accordance with this divine
plan [of marriage], that is to say, the decision to commit by their irrevocable
conjugal consent their whole lives in indissoluble love and unconditional fidelity,
really involves, even if not in a fully conscious way, an attitude of profound
obedience to the will of God, an attitude which cannot exist without God's grace.
They have thus already begun what is in a true and proper sense a journey
towards salvation, a journey which the celebration of the sacrament and the
immediate preparation for it can complement and bring to completion, given the
uprightness of their intention." [Familiaris consortio n. 68]
Finally, it would be helpful to provide the couple with a copy of the section of the
Catechism of the Catholic Church on the Sacrament of Marriage, #1601-1666, and on the
Sixth Commandment, #2331–2400. These teachings should be discussed with them.
Copies of these sections of the Catechism of the Catholic Church should be distributed to
couples in their meeting with the person(s) who prepare them for marriage.
What should be done about a woman taking the birth control pill for prescribed
medical reasons? How should the topic of possible abortifacient effects and the
contraceptive side effect be handled?
Preparing women who are taking the BCP for health reasons to enter into conjugal
marital relationships is an issue that has serious moral considerations. The two moral
issues that should be addressed with the couple by the preparing minister are the potential
abortifacient effects of the BCP and the side effect of temporary loss of fertility.
These couples should seek the advice of a qualified medical practitioner who is
committed to Church teaching for the fulfillment of their NFP requirement. A Creighton
Model FertilityCare instructor, for example, or even to a doctor trained in Na Pro
Technology could be of assistance to them. Such persons are specially trained to deal
with both the moral and medical issues involved, and can offer a holistic approach to
women's health concerns.
A great deal of dialogue is taking place on the scientific question of whether or not the
BCP is a potential abortifacient. Numerous respected professionals argue that there is
significant reason to conclude that the use of the BCP can cause abortions. Because of
this possibility, couples should be advised to find solutions that do not carry this risk of
an abortion.
The value of fertility should also motivate the woman to choose other methods of medical
treatment that would not require taking the BCP. It is recognized that the BCP is morally
permissible when being used for health reasons by women who are not sexually active.
How can clergy help couples deal with the fear of NFP ineffectiveness?
In preparing a couple for marriage, counseling should focus on abstaining from sexual
activity before marriage. Both married and unmarried couples should be assured of the
scientific effectiveness of NFP methods. A pastoral approach of understanding and
encouragement can be helpful in most situations. Couples should come to understand
that married love means being open to children and to embracing, with courage, God’s
plan for love and life in their marriage. The Respect Life Office has resources to assist
clergy with this pastoral concern. In addition, clergy may identify parishioners who can
provide support to couples in this situation.
How should clergy advise couples who are entering marriage where one or both
are permanently sterilized?
First, please apply to the tribunal for the relaxation from the requirement. The relaxation
will be granted, but a record of it is important to the Diocesan files. Then, as the policy
states, couples should receive instruction in the Theology of the Body in order to help
them understand the full meaning of conjugal love that is both unitive and procreative.
Clergy should discuss the moral implications of sterilization with couples or individuals
who have been sterilized. It is also appropriate to discuss the possible spiritual and moral
benefits of pursuing a reversal procedure. The Respect Life Office can provide contact
information for physicians who may provide reversal services at a reduced cost.
What should be done in the case of civilly married couples who come to the
Church for sacramental marriage?
All who come to the Church for the sacrament of marriage deserve the benefits of premarriage
training as outlined in diocesan policy. In this respect, couples seeking
convalidation should meet the same requirements, including instruction in NFP, as all
other couples. If particular circumstances require a different approach, clergy should call
the Chancellor for specific permission.